Concierges are the unsung heroes of luxury travel—the ones who gently turn your vague “I want an unforgettable dinner” into a reservation at the city’s most impossible-to-book restaurant… in 20 minutes… on a holiday weekend.
But to access that level of magic, you need to know how to play the game. Luckily for you, I’ve spent enough time sweet-talking concierges from Paris to Panama City to know exactly how to get the very best service. Consider this your chic little guide to concierge etiquette.
The Golden Rule: Be Nice
Concierges are not your personal butlers, assistants, or emotional support person—though some of them do an excellent impression. Start with warmth, eye contact, and a genuine “Hi, how’s your day going?” before unleashing your list of requests.
Think of it this way: would you go above and beyond for someone who couldn’t be bothered to look up from their phone? Exactly.
The Art of the Ask
Yes, concierges can do a lot. No, they cannot break the laws of physics, the city, or basic dignity.
Here’s what you can reasonably ask for:
- Restaurant recommendations that aren’t “popular on TikTok” but actually good
- Last-minute reservations (within reason—don’t expect Carbone at 8pm on a Saturday unless your surname is on a building)
- Local secrets: quiet beaches, hidden bars, boutiques that don’t put everything on Instagram
- Tickets, transportation, and help with logistics
Here’s what you should not ask a concierge for:
- Anything illegal
- Anything that requires them to break hotel policy—like letting your “friend” up without ID or sneaking extra guests into the spa
- Errands your personal assistant would normally handle—picking up dry cleaning, returning packages, babysitting your dog, etc.
Concierge Tipping Etiquette
Tipping is very much a standard part of concierge etiquette. When they secure reservations, arrange experiences, or work their magic behind the scenes, a tip is part of how you say, “Thank you, I see what you did for me.”
Use this as your tipping cheat sheet:
- Simple recommendations: A small tip ($5) is a nice gesture. It shows appreciation and sets the tone that you’re a thoughtful guest.
- Secured restaurant reservations, event tickets, or special favors: $10–$20.
- Hard-to-get, “how on earth did they do that?” miracles: $20–$50.
- Travel-altering wizardry (lost luggage found in 3 hours, last-minute yacht, etc.): $50+
When to Tip the Concierge
If they help you with something specific, tip right then and there.
A restaurant booking, a car arranged, a list of shops you’ll actually love—those are moments for a discreet, timely thank-you. It acknowledges the effort and subtly communicates, “Feel free to keep spoiling me.”
If you’ve leaned on them throughout the stay, a final envelope at checkout is completely appropriate.
Think: multiple reservations, detailed itineraries, last-minute pivots, the occasional crisis-management moment. Ending with a single, gracious tip ties the whole relationship together in a neat, elegant bow.
And if you’re not sure?
Do both. A small tip during your stay to signal you’re a generous, civilized human being… and a final tip if they’ve been consistently helpful. It’s the luxury equivalent of sending a thank-you note and a bottle of wine. Perfectly acceptable. Perfectly appreciated.
Loyalty Works Wonders
Concierges remember nice people. They also remember the people who acted like human hurricanes. The easiest way to get upgraded treatment is to be a returning guest who’s consistently kind.
If you’re staying more than a couple nights, learn their name. Use it. Say thank you—enthusiastically but authentically. Send a note to the hotel after checkout praising their help.
Timing Is Everything
Need restaurant reservations at 8pm tonight? Ask before 8pm tonight. Ideally… hours before. Maybe even the day before. Magical as they are, concierges do not summon tables from the void.
If you know you’ll need help with something specific—like planning a birthday weekend or securing a driver—tell them early.
Be Specific (But Not Impossible)
“I want a great dinner” is vague.
“I want a cozy Italian spot with a killer wine list and zero influencers” gives your concierge something to work with.
The more specific within reality, the better your results.
Appreciation Goes Further Than You Think
A sincere thank-you is powerful. A handwritten note is chic. A box of chocolates or a treat from your hometown is unforgettable.
But the easiest win is simply following up after you enjoy their recommendation. “Dinner was perfect—thank you again!” is always appreciated.
